Becoming a Doula
Jul 17, 2023
What is the Role of a Doula?
A baby’s first cry marks the moment full of sweet release and incredible elation for a new mother, and she holds out her hands to clasp the little one to her breast. She has done it, and all the tension seeps away. Around her stands her team: her partner, one with her in this moment; the midwife, focused on the baby; a doula, wiping the sweat that glistens on her face. But who is the doula, and what makes her a critical member of the birth team?
If one was to sum up the role of a doula in two words, it would be these two: holding space. A doula exists to hold space for a woman during a time of transition: during loss, death, birth, or big changes. Throughout history, doulas have come in to support women and provide them with that intangible support that is so crucial in a moment of need. A hand to grasp, a shoulder to lean on, a non-judgmental presence that enables the woman to stay balanced, focused, and at peace in the midst of what might otherwise be an overwhelming or distressing time.
Studies show that this supportive presence can have an enormous impact. Women who have doulas are 60% more likely to have a non-traumatic birth experience, and continuous support during labor has also been shown to shorten labors by an average of 41 minutes. The presence of a doula has also been shown to decrease the need for medical intervention and decrease the risk of a low neonatal Apgar score. A doula is not a substitute for either midwife or partner but complements them, as she supports and advocates for the mother throughout the birth and postnatal period.
Holding Space…
What does it mean to hold space, and how does it look in actual practice? To be available without being interfering, to be fully present without being in the way, to understand without requiring explanation: a doula works to create a continuous atmosphere of supportive nurturing that catalyzes the expectant mother’s inner strength and allows her to be what only she can.
JOIN OUR COURSE ON LEARNING TO HOLD SPACE
While a midwife focuses on the medical care of the laboring woman and the child being born, a doula’s focus is on their emotional and spiritual needs even as she provides physical and informational support. We are strongest when we are heard, seen, and understood, and that listening ear and supportive presence enables a laboring woman to reach inter her own deep, innate knowledge of the birth process and be the best and strongest version of herself.
That doesn’t mean that a doula’s role is always passive. There are many times when specific, non-medical action is required, and a doula will always be ready to brew a cup of calming herbal tea, provide a pressure-releasing massage, or provide information that can help the laboring mother make sense of her experience. She may guide an expectant mother in deep breathing or other pain reduction techniques. She may also function as an advocate for the mother, and ensure her needs and desires are respected by the entire birth team. These actions are important. But her core function transcends these tasks, as she works, throughout the labor and postpartum period, to hold space and bring balance to the birthing room.
Preparing to Serve as a Doula
What does it take to do this for a woman in transition, and how can a doula best prepare for her role at a birth? Specialized training is certainly important. Effective nurturing will come from a place of knowledge, and a thorough understanding of the physical and emotional challenges at hand enables the doula to provide empathetic support. But there’s more to becoming a doula than simply learning about the birth process and the needs of expectant and birthing mothers.
A doula must also be a grounded woman, with her own inner peace that is not easily disturbed. This doesn’t mean she will have found perfection, but she must be a woman who is intentionally making the effort to heal in her own world and in her heart. Maybe this is the most difficult part of becoming a doula. It’s hard to turn inward and look at our own hurts, work through our own pain. But there’s no other way to be fully present for those who are dealing with the intensity that comes with the borders of life.
Looking Within
Many of us have, over the years, built walls around our own wounds, protecting ourselves from those who might get too close and from triggers in our environments. This is certainly one way to live, and most of the time it works. But those hard walls get in the way when the time comes to reach others in their hour of need, and cause us to be abrupt, easily flustered or insensitive in spite of our best intentions.
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We need to come face to face with our own insecurities, hurts and weaknesses before we are ready to hold space for another. Healing is a process, and it won’t happen in one day: but it can start in one. Once we’ve begun the journey of self-healing, we’ll be able to stand alongside those dealing with their own watershed moments and provide empathetic, nurturing care when it is most needed.
So start there. Find your grounding, begin the journey of healing in your own heart. Specialized training is the next step, and as these two processes work together you’ll find your inner nurturer you never knew existed.
